I realized at a young age that I needed to be careful with whom I share my dreams with. Not everyone will be supportive either because they don’t understand my dreams, or they want to protect me.
Finding your support system may take a while to build, but it’s so worth it. It took me a few years to form mine. Your experience might be different than mine. You might already have a good core of people, and it’s easy to select them. Either way, having your tribe is important in your life.
Why you need a support system
I LOVE this quote by Scott Stabile,
“Find people who can handle your darkest truths, who don’t change the subject when you share your pain, or try to make you feel bad for feeling bad. Find people who understand we all struggle, some of us more than others, and that there’s no weakness in admitting it. Find people who want to be real, however that looks and feels, and who want you to be real, too. Find people who get that life is hard, and who get that life is also beautiful, and who aren’t afraid to honor both of those realities. Find people who help you feel more at home in your heart, mind and body, and who take joy in your joy. Find people who love you, for real, and who accept you, for real. Just as you are. They’re out there, these people. Your tribe is waiting for you. Don’t stop searching until you find them.”
Your tribe is composed of people whom you trust and are a good sounding board for personal and professional decisions and challenges. Your support system is composed of people who will be on your side, supporting you and cheering you on.
Not only that, these are people that can give you objective opinions and feedback. Having a group of people around you is helpful because they provide a different point of view, background, and experiences.
The tribe in your life
A tribe consists of individuals with whom you share your dreams, goals, and struggles with and help you with weighing out decisions.
Going after your dreams and goals aren’t easy. Let’s face it, it’s inevitable that you’ll come across many difficulties and hurdles. That comes with the territory of going after what’s in your heart.
Just like being in a sport, the coach can motivate the players. Check this amazing speech given by Jonathan Flower to his team, the Leland Chargers.
Your support system can help you soar to greater heights and achieve what may seem impossible. These are the ones who will believe in you when others don’t see your potential.
How to find your support system
You don’t necessarily need to tell them to know they are part of your tribe, but it’s good to have a mental account of who the people are that you go to.
Is there someone you admire how they live their life? Do you look up to someone in the workplace? That person would be a great candidate to be part of your tribe.
1. Assess your friends and family
The first place to look for your tribe is the closest to you. Do you have a friend or family that would be a good candidate to be part of your team?
When I started on my Christian journey, I admired a woman named Lynda. She’s a great Christian role model, excellent mom and wife, and not to mention a very talented photographer. One day I decided to ask her to mentor me, and she agreed!
At the beginning of our relationship, we met once a month. During that time, we were trying to get to know each other. It’s been over ten years, and even though we’re miles apart, we still connect with each other via FaceTime. When I’m in town, we get together at a coffee shop. We chat about life, business, and our dreams.
2. Outside of your circle
Are you taking a group or going to events? These are great people to find like-minded individuals. As adults, we rarely take classes, unless you’re in college classes or taking supplemental courses for your vocation. Find groups or events on Meetups or Eventbrite to be around people for the same interests as you.
Another great place to scout out people to be in your tribe is around the workplace. The office is a natural place to look for people to connect with after college. Try to hang out with them outside of work to get a better feel on how they are.
3. Online community
Millennials and Gen Z are born into technology. We live and breathe everything tech-related from our tablets to our laptops to our social media.
There are endless opportunities to connect with other people online. Connecting through social media has been the norm since Myspace started. You can find groups and people you can connect with on a personal and professional level.
You can do this through Facebook groups, forums and even your favorite influencer if they provide one. Don’t be afraid to tap into the online space, because this is easily accessible and easy to find new groups to join.
Coaches are professionals you can hire to help you with your decisions and bounce off ideas with. These individuals can give you objective feedback as well as professional guidance with your life, career or business.
A few drawbacks of hiring a professional is the cost and time. Depending on your location and the coach’s cost, hiring a coach can range from $100 to upwards of $3000. As for the time, you need to have that connection with your coach, which will take a few meetings with different coaches.
When I moved to LA, I was seeking for accountability. That was when I decided to hired a coach. I didn’t know what I was doing with my life and needed help finding direction. Not only did she help me with what I needed, she has helped me grow in my personal and professional life. I’m all for finding the right coach!
Finding the right people in your life will take time. It can be a frustrating process. However, with the right determination and seeking in the right place, you can create that group of people who will leverage you in all areas of your life.