I was out and about a lugging around two bags that weighed 15+ pounds for half a day. They were HEAVY. Did I mention I don’t have a car?
I had also been carrying emotional weight for the past few weeks, or more accurately, years. It had finally caught up with me; I couldn’t shove it to the side anymore.
I was piling up the bricks in my invisible wagon that I’ve wheeling around for years. It was finally time to dismantle all of those bricks and start anew. It was time to tackle the beast. This is how I came to rediscover the ME that I lost.
When I thought I lost myself
A couple of days ago, I was listening to the song Defender by UPPER ROOM when suddenly I broke down crying when I heard the lyrics:
When I thought I lost me
You knew where I left me
You reintroduced me to Your love
You picked up all my pieces
Put me back together
You are the defender of my heart
In my experience, God sends me signs to direct me on what to do or what to focus on, like a trail of breadcrumbs that I should follow. This song was one of those breadcrumbs.
I had come to grips with the fact that I had lost myself. It’s been long enough now that I’ve connected to myself and I have a good sense of self-awareness, but there was a disconnect between my heart, mind, and emotions.
My emotions weren’t matching up to my actions. I bottled my emotions for so long that I would snap or breakdown. I didn’t allow myself to think, feel, or have an opinion. I had let others dictate how I was feeling and acting.
This journey is going to be an ongoing process, but I’d like to share what I’ve been doing to diminish the gap between who I am now and the person that I lost.
8 Ways to rediscovering the me that I lost
1. Allow yourself to grieve
Give yourself time and space to grieve, if necessary. Losing a part of yourself is like losing a friend.
Your grieving process may include crying, feeling sadness or experiencing unexpected emotions. Figure out how you need to process it.
2. Get curious
Look internally and assess what’s happening in your mind and heart. Ask yourself the following questions:
- What has changed?
- What have I noticed about myself that’s different?
- Who can I connect with about this?
3. Take time for yourself
Do some self-reflecting to dig deeper into yourself. If you’re an introvert, this should make you excited.
If you’re an extrovert, this may be a bit difficult since it requires looking inward all by yourself. The more you push yourself to work on your inner life, however, the more you’ll see the effects in your external world.
These three suggestions may seem basic, but they made an impact on my life when I was reconnecting with myself:
- Journal: Write about how you’re feeling. Document your daily life to become more self-aware and in tune to what’s going on. The act of writing has given me insights about how I’ve lost touch with myself. Not only that, but it has also given me the keys to unlock ways to reconnect with myself.
- Meditation: My therapist suggested doing body scan meditation. I was doing some meditation already, but ever since I started incorporating body scan it into my morning routine, I’ve been more in touch with myself and my intuition. It feels amazing!
- Walks: Slow down and go for walks by yourself without your phone. Walking allows me to be more present and quiet any noise in my head and my heart.
4. Surround yourself with cheerleaders
Reconnecting with yourself is an enormous task to undertake by yourself. It’s especially important to surround yourself with people who will encourage and inspire you during this time, which will make the process faster and easier.
Protecting yourself from negative people is highly recommended. If you can’t completely distance yourself from negative people, try to limit your time with them.
Not too long ago, I started going to therapy. My therapist and I have uncovered the events in my life that led to me losing myself.
Among them was my parent’s divorce, which was when I started disconnecting myself from other people. Along with that, moving to a new country and new cities disrupted my world. Then there were compromises, not listening to my inner voice or intuition, and many little moments that led me to where I am now.
Connecting with a therapist has helped me piece things together and better understand myself. Having a professional’s guidance has sped up my journey.
6. Do things that make you feel alive
One way to reconnect with yourself is to do activities that make you feel alive and spring up joy, which helps reveal your values and emphasizes what matters most to you.
Take time once a week to do things that excite you, and explore why these activities make you feel this way.
7. Celebrate your victories
After some time, I find myself thinking or doing something differently than I usually would. That’s when I know that I’m making progress.
Whether you’ve made an inch of progress or you’re just starting out, you’re in a great place. Because this journey is not quite tangible and is more self-paced, it’s easy to be unaware of your victories.
Create milestones, whether it’s something you want to accomplish or a date three months away by which you hope to achieve something.
8. Lay stones down
The meaning of returning back to yourself will differ from one person to another. Explore what this signifies to you and why it matters.
In the Bible, there were numerous times when God would ask individuals to set stones as a memorial, which increases faith, is an act of worship, and is a reminder of that period and who God was during that time.
Choose a symbol that reminds you of this time of your life, be it a necklace or blanket, and set it as your “stone.” This act is powerful because it is a remembrance that you are resilient and that your inner self will always guide you back to who you truly are.
Your willingness to go through this process is immense. Not a lot of people are enthusiastic about going down this path. I want to commend you for learning more about it.
I wish you the very best on this journey.